Aztec Mythology

So I started a new project, this new project is going to be a 120-minute long movie about Aztec gods (Cool, isn't it?). So in order to write my script coherently, I had to do my homework of researching  about Aztec Mythology. Unfortunately, the Spanish burned many codexes for considering from the devil, losing many pieces of information about the Aztec Empire and leaving plot-holes in the mythology, therefore I felt free to fill these gaps with my own imagination. Now dear reader, I am going to introduce you: The Aztec Pantheon! (just the major gods, because there are around 200 gods).

Quetzalcoatl

His name translated in Nahuatl (Aztec language) literally means “Feathered Serpent”. He was represented by a feathered serpent. Quetzalcoatl was the god of wisdom, life and wind (but in his wind form he is called Ehecatl). He created the world (for the fifth time, because like always happens, the gods realize that they did an awful job of creating the world and they reboot it. Examples are when Zeus flooded the world, Odin destroys Midgard and build it again, and Noah’s ark), by descending to the Underworld and tricking the god of death to give him the bones from the humans of the past, the god of death gives them to him and Quetzalcoatl creates everything again by making himself bleed over the bones from blood from his hands, arms, and penis (he didn’t cut it off, he just made a little scar from where the blood flow, but he is now fine, like you will see in the next myth). Also Quetzalcoatl is the god of life, so he didn’t die (although Aztec gods are not immortal).

Another myth says that Quetzalcoatl descended to the mythical city of Tollan in earth, became the king and taught the humans astrology, how to crop corn, medicine, and other goodies, And he saw that this was good, but Tezcatlipoca was jealous of him, so he tricked Quetzalcoatl by drunken him with pulque (alcoholic beverage made out of agave), and Quetzalcoatl fornicated drunk with his prioress,Quetzalpetlatl (See? His part did just fine despite what he had to do to create the world). Quetzalcoatl felt shame and left Tollan to travel east, but he promised the humans to return to make everybody gods.

Quetzalcoatl was white, so Montezuma believed that Hernán Cortés was Quetzalcoatl who had returned to them, and this so-called “Quetzalcoatl” also brought something to the Aztecs: not knowledge, but smallpox, malaria, yellow fever, measles, chicken pox, typhus, influenza, and the Inquisition(note: the mayans have their own version of Quetzalcoatl, Kukulcan, and when people think that Kukulcan and Quetzalcoatl are the same thing and that the Aztecs and the Mayans are the same people, this is the item #166 of the Rant List). Some historians believe that Quetzalcoatl is Odin from Norse mythology brought by the vikings because Odin is also the god of wisdom and poetry.

Tezcatlipoca

This god was considered bad to the Aztecs for being the god of night, sorcery, and discord, but they still worshipped him. He is Quetzalcoatl’s brother and used to hang out like super-friends (they even created the world together for the first time, and killed together Cipatli, a cocrodile that had a mouth in every joint) but something happened between them, and Tezcatlipoca became rival of Quetzalcoatl. Some historians say that in mythology, Tezcatlipoca was worshipped as the major deity in Tollan, and he asked for human sacrifices, but Quetzalcoatl came with his peace-and-love philosophy, and stopped the human sacrifices (Quetzalcoatl did not asked for human sacrifices in Aztec practices in real life), so he withdrew Tezcatlipoca from the temples. Tezcatlipoca became angry and to regain Tollan, he gave to Quetzalcoatl some booze. While Quetzalcoatl was represented by a feathered serpent, Tezcatlipoca was  represented by a Jaguar.

Huitzilopochtli

Other brother of Quetzalcoatl and major god of Tenochtitlan. He was born after his mother (Coatlicue) was walking around and found an strange sphere, Coatlicue put the ball in her womb, and became pregnant (by the way, Coatlicue was a virgin). Her sister and brothers got mad and tried to kill Coatlicue, but Huitzilopochtli, god of war, was born fully grown and ready to battle, and killed his aunt, beheaded her and kick her body to the sky to become the moon. Huitzilopochtli killed several of his uncles, and went behind the rest of them, the uncles ran away to the sky and become the stars, and were named Centzon Huitznahua. After kicking out the Centzon Huitznahua, Huitzilopochtli was worshipped as god of war. One day, he found some people in the Aztlan Valley and told them to walk west and found a city where an eagle eats a snake while standing over a cactus in the middle of a lake, the people of Aztlan went and founded Mexico City (and because the city is on a lake, it is slowly sinking, for real). Although this god was as bloodthirsty as Tezcatlipoca in his ceremonies, he is one of Quetzalcoatl’s best friends.

Tlaloc

Best friend of Quetzalcoatl, and god of water, hail, lightning, thunder, and water-related things. Had googly eyes and jaguar teeth. Priests used to eat babies to make rain, however, it was considered good among the Aztecs. If someone died by drowning or struck by a lightning, the person would go to the Tlalocan, Tlaloc’s Kingdom in the Upperworld that was a water paradise, and where Tlaloc makes rain, hail, snow, and all of that. One day, the mexican government found an statue of Tlaloc somewhere in Mexico, so they transported it to Mexico City, and started to rain a lot during the trip (and not those drizzles that people from the Rio Grande Valley call “rain". I mean thunders, and lightnings and stuff).

Xolotl

Quetzalcoatl’s ugly bother. Had human body and dog head. Because of his deformity, he lived in the Underworld helping the dead to find their way. God of deformities, but also could control lighting and fire. Was represented by a hairless dog (whose breed is the Xoloitzcuintle). Despite of his ugliness, Aztec worshipers liked him, but the gods sent him to work with Mictlantecuhtli in the Underworld. He only had one friend, Huehuecoyotl (Mictlantecuhtli was more like a boss).

Huehuecoyotl

His name literally means “very old coyote”. Only friend of Xolotl, and was the trickster god of mischief, music and partying (although he was the god of mischief, he is not evil, he is more like Dionysius). He has another very funny friend, named Xochipilli (huehuecoyotl did not had a coyote head, but had a coyote mask).

Xochipilli

Brother of the goddess of love. Like his sister he was the god of beauty, art, dance, flowers, male prostitution and homosexuality. He had several female and male lovers, according to some myths (although  homosexuals were protected by this god, the aztec law was very harsh with them. If the authorities would caught an homosexual, they would do horrible stuff to them, but the Mayans-who are NOT the aztecs-were cool to homosexuality). Also, he had a pointy stick and likes to poke it around, but if the tip touched your heart, you would fall in love.

Xochiquetzal

(A goddess!) Goddess of love, fertility, and female sexual power. Twin sister of Xochipilli. She would get married to several gods. Once she married Tlaloc, and they lived happily, but t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶t̶y̶ ̶p̶o̶o̶p̶e̶r̶ Tezcatlipoca came and kidnapped Xochiquetzal and forced her to marry him (but then, she managed to divorce him).

Mictlantecuhtli

Uglier than Xolotl. He was represented by an skeleton because he was the god of death and Lord of the Underworld (aka. Mictlan). He was considered kind of evil because the Underworld was filled with traps, such mountains that moved, oceans of fire, etc. Like I said, he guarded the bones of the humans when Quetzalcoatl decided to reboot the world for the fifth time, but he was playing “finders-keepers” and he tried to trick Quetzalcoatl, but Quetzalcoatl tricked him back and he gave to Quetzalcoatl the bones, so he could spill his blood on them and remake the humans.

Coatlicue

Mother of most of the gods and goddesses. She was the “mother earth” goddess. Because she has fought many times, he lost her head and was replaced by two snakes. She was nice, but Coyolxauhqui, her sister, did not liked her, but Huitzilopochtli took care of her.

Itztlacoliuhqui

Punisher god of Justice and the morning star. He used to be cool, and warm, but one day Tonatiuh (the sun god) was asking for bloody and ridiculous sacrifices, so he decided to teach him a lesson on compassion and humility by throwing him an arrow to kill Tonatiuh, but missed and Tonatiuh grabbed it and threw it back, making Itztlacoliuhqui a god with a cold heart. He was considered the evilest god of all the pantheon that he didn’t even had a temple.

Tonatiuh

The sun god guardian of the fifth sun. He was a god that the divinity went to his head and Itztlacoliuhqui wanted him to put him in his place but turned to be the other way around. One of the Spanish Conquistadors, Pedro de Alvarado, was called Tonatiuh because some say that he was a redhead (And also turned out to be a barbaric soldier, who murdered various Aztec captains and soldiers unarmed in a religious celebration, known as The Massacre of the Toxalt, turning point in the Conquest of Mexico).

Centzon-Totochtin

Were divine bunnies that were FOUR HUNDRED DRUNKEN RABBITS (also called Spring Breakers), who were born from Mayahuel, goddess of Agave and alcohol, who also had FOUR HUNDRED breasts, so she could nurture the rabbits, and alcoholized milk would come out from her breasts. The rabbits travel around, but sometimes they meet together to party, and when that happens all of the rabbits get (more) drunk. These rabbits were the gods of drunkenness (duh!), and each rabbit represented  a different way in which a person can get drunk.

Popocatepetl

Not a god. He was a legendary mortal who was a warrior who was in love with the emperor’s daughter (Iztaccihuatl) who loved him back, but the emperor (aka. Huey Tlatoani) made a deal with Popocatepetl that if he wanted to marry Iztaccihuatl, he had to go to battle and return victorious. So Popocatepetl went to battle and promised to her to return, but a rival warrior who had a crush on Iztaccihuatl, came back before Popocatepetl and told her that Popocatepetl was killed in battle, and instead of marrying him (like he planned), she dies of broken heart. When Popocatepetl returns, he finds her dead and takes her to the mountains where he cries for her and makes her a honorable burial. Popocatepetl, while he was crying for her, he also dies of broken heart. This touched the hearts of the gods and turned the couple into volcanoes, so they could finally be together. The volcanoes are real and surround Mexico city, the volcano Iztaccihuatl is extinct, but Popocatepetl is still active and very frequently exhales smoke and (or) ash, sometimes the exhalations can be very dangerous to the communities around. Lately, Popocatepetl has been upset, and he throws ash, smoke, and other stuff, sometimes threatens to throw lava and giant rocks, and some people (spiritists) speculate that is because The Mighty Popocatepetl, guardian of Mexico, is pissed off at what are the presidents doing with Mexico, and with all the corruption, drug trafficking, etc (You know, what has been on the news).

Note: When Mexico’s roads were safe, I came to these volcanoes to visit them with my family. We walked around the park, but then we decided to hitchhike the Iztaccíhuatl (Popocatépetl was kind of unsafe, because that day I think some smoke was coming out, and there was wind, and you know, those radioactive gases (Radon-222 and its friends) that come from volcanoes do not give you superpowers, but kill you). We climbed half of the Iztaccihuatl before finding our way back to our car due to the cold weather it was getting as we went up.

Third cultural event

I was assigned to write once again about a cultural event, and initially I was going to write it about a math competition, but I had to drop the team in which I was going to the competition because I had things to do on the day of the competition, so I decided to write about my experience in a museum. Now I know that I already wrote about a museum in the first entry about the cultural event, but this entry is different because in order to get to this museum I had to get off of the school bus in Hidalgo on Friday February 27th, then I had to walk 1.4 miles (around 30 minutes walking ) to the southwest, and cross a river in order to get to foreign lands. Yes, the museum is in the far away lands of Mexico. I was sure that the city of Reynosa is more than drug dealers, soldiers in the streets carrying their loaded guns on the top of trucks, and cheap healthcare.

So after crossing the border, I went to the house of my parents to spend the weekend in order to go to the museum on Saturday. Saturday came, and my dad and me went  to the museum which is almost outside the city. Like always happens when I go to a cultural event, it was cloudy, rainy and during a cold front.

The name of the museum that I went was Casa de la tierra (which means Earth’s house). It was completed last January, and is funded by the state government. The mission of Casa de la Tierra is to educate the people about global warming, climate change, and pollution. I entered to the building and a girl (not a lady, she was like 20) greeted us and informed us that the next tour was going to start at midday, but we could interact with two computers that were in there. The museum was smaller than the one in mcallen, and although I already knew most of the information on it, it still amazed me the information that I didn’t knew. The computers that we went sent to interact with were two spheric screens in which the earth was projected, and by a touch screen panel, you could project the image that you wanted to see. For example, you could see the Earth at night, forest fires around the globe, changes of Ice around the world, frequency of lightings, etc. There was also an option in which you could project Mars, the Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Europa (one of Jupiter’s moons), the sun, solar radiation as seen by the satellite SOHO, and the planets compared with the solar surface. At twelve, the guide tooks us for a tour around the museum, which consisted in an spiral stars what went up. As we walked throughout the stars, at the wall in my right there was a time line about the creation of the universe which started with a thought that said in Spanish: “In the stelar ovens were created most of the atoms of the chemical elements that gave origin to all the matter we know, including the living beings. The calcium of our bones, the iron of our blood, the carbon, nitrogen, and oxygen of our cells of our body, they are product of the nuclear reactions of the stars. Like the famous astronomer Carl Sagan said ‘We are all Stardust’”.

After this thought, our journey thru the history of the universe started with the Big Bang, an explosion that lasted around three minutes and created all the elements, and the different forces, such the gravity force, and the nuclear force. Moreover, We learned about the years light unit (the unit to measure distances in the universe that mean the time that light would take to go over a distance. 1 year light means that light takes a year to go over a distance). We also learned about the Relativity theory, and the theories of what is going to happen with the universe. The first one is The Big Crush, which says that the universe will get to its greatest expansion, and then it is going to shrink to a small point; then there is The Big Rip, that says that the universe will continue to expand and all the particles will eventually disintegrate as a result of the expansion,and finally, the theory that says that nothing will happen, but the universe will continue to expand forever. After this timeline, it was followed a timeline of the earth, that started with the earth as a big red ball at its very beginnings, then the species were created in a flood starting by the cyanobacteria, those bacterias were becoming more complex, until they became dinosaurs, who then were killed by an asteroid, and then mammals survived, then some monkey appeared in earth and evolved until they became humans, who then founded cities that started to pollute the world. After we finished the timeline, the college girl guide took us to a dome in the very top of the building which was some sort of cinema, but this cinema had the screen shaped in a sphere, actually it was the same thing as the one that I saw in the museum in Mcallen. She went away and another guide came in to put us projection in the globe, and to talk as the images appeared. I remember that he asked “How many penguins can a polar bear eat?” my father said two, but I knew to what the guide was going to. So I said “Well, if you give them to the bear it sure is two, but a polar bear cannot eat any penguins since they both live in the opposite poles of the earth” and then my dad said “Well, but it might happen in a congressman’s zoo” making reference to a note on the news on friday that said that a private zoo was confiscated from a Mexican congressman in the Federal government, so we all laugh from this satire. Then the guide put us a video about what would the earth say to us if she had a voice, how we (humans) are destroying her. After this video finished, the tour did. I went home with several mementos to put in here.

Now, reflecting about what happened in the museum, I wonder what if that museum was built in the US. I can imagine conservatives going not to learn, but t̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶r̶n̶ ̶i̶t̶ to protest. I really like that museum, because among all the science museums that I have visited, I have never been in one that explained so well the global warming issue. Projects like this make the people to become educated about their surroundings, and create conscience. Also it touches the evolution and the continental drift theory, which are the best proved explanations on how the world works, and although in Mexico there are not as much people that believe in Creationism (the only mexican creationists that I can think of are SOME priests, church officers, catholic schools, and politicians from the PAN (Mexican f̶a̶s̶c̶i̶s̶t̶ conservative political party (the Mexican GOP, although the Mexican GOP are the PRI and PAN together))). It still opens the minds of those who are not educated in the sciences. And like one of the best Popes that the Church has had, Pope Francis, I also support the Evolution because it doesn’t prove that God doesn’t exist, but it proves that God exists because God is not a wizard who made everything like if it was witchcraft, but took its time making everything better (the Pope said something that looked like this).

 The Earth. Version 2.0.

The epic essay about the alchemist

Note: I was assigned to write about this for my English Class, but I would like to share it.

“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho is a book about a shepherd named Santiago, who has a dream about that he has to look for a treasure at the pyramids in Egypt, which at the end, turns out that the treasure was not on Egypt, but in his native Spain. Among all the important quotes that this book said, the following catched my attention: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. This phrase has a meaning to me for the background that represents to me.

This phrase was mentioned in the book “The Alchemist” by Melchizedek, King of Salem, when he talks to Santiago (although it repeats many time throughout the book) in Tarifa. In this scene, the king and Santiago are discussing about the soul of the world and about the personal legend of each person. When this quote is repeated throughout the book, there is a pattern that is repeated whenever a personal legend of someone else is discussed or when something bad happens to Santiago. This pattern defined gives meaning to the quote which also could be reworded as “You can do anything you want, if you really want to”.

I choose this quote because of the historical meaning that it has to me (this is probably the most common favorite quote). My parents read “The Alchemist” and on the opposite way of me, they really like the book. My parents therefore encouraged me since I was in Elementary to know what to do when I grew up regardless of how much I would get pay, but for some reason, Middle School mess it up (as many things in my life) and they betrayed these ideals and they were always bugging me with “Hey, you should be a nurse” “Nurses are so rich” “If you are responsible, you should be a nurse” “Your aunt is a nurse and she has a condo in South Padre Island” “You will date many girls on nursing” (they actually said this), etc. But I wanted nursing as far as possible from me, back then my favorite class was history because it was the class in which I knew the most and I really felt passionate about it. So they were bugging me with other kind of statesmen such “Historians are homeless” “How are you going to pay you bills with that degree?” and “Why are so afraid and don’t follow you dreams?”. The last one, really pissed me off because they absolutely had no idea about what my dreams really were. One day, I finally gave up and agreed at last to study nursing in college, after all they make good money. But I was not happy with this decision, because I have always believed that all people have the freedom to explore their options, and the freedom to choose which one is the best for each person (and in the book this what the Personal Legend is about). Therefore they have been betraying their own ideals that were established long time ago, which for me is one of the worst things a person can do. Therefore, I talked to my parents and I reminded them of this forgotten quote, and they finally let me study History. For me the universe conspired for me when it allowed me to go to med high, to go to a good college in the US, where this “Personal Legend” can be achieved. When I ask myself “What if I had stayed in Mexico?” I realize that things would not be better, but worse instead, because I would go to a regular mexican high school (which are no good at all) with students bribing teachers, bullies and drugs.

Then after High School, I would go to some university to study something about health, then I would live with my parents probably until they die, and I would be a poor, sour, old man wondering about the other hypothetical scenario, ranting, and remembering on those emotions that I felt by those history books that I read during middle school.

In conclusion of all discussed above, this quote is my favorite because it does not only represents an epic achievement of mine, but also it represents the freedom to dream, and to work towards the dreams. This quote has defined on how I am going to act from now on, which is to focus towards my Personal Legend, to compromise with myself to not to finish the day without me doing something that will lead me to the personal legend, and to have the courage to fight our way to this personal legend, and do not let anyone, not even loved ones to get on this way.

The Rant List

There are things in this world (and until there is not proof of life in other planets, in all the universe) that I love, there also things that I don’t care about, things that I hate, and things that make me rant about. To describe the things that I rant about, I have created “The Rant List”. All the stuff listed under The Rant List, is stuff that not only I hate the most above all the things existing, existed, or coming soon; but also things that make rant for minutes and sometimes, hours when mentioned or referenced. Fortunately, while I am writing this list, I am in a really good mood, and when I am in really good mood, nothing can make me mad (unless is something so disturbing). Position #1 is the thing that I hate (and rant) the most.

1.-The minions: These ugly things which people describe as adorable, for me they are the most awful thing on cinema’s history because they speak weird, there is not a consensus about their physiognomy (some have one eye, others two. Seriously, Can’t the movie staff agree on how many eyes they have?), and they steal the protagonism of Gru. When people go to see “Despicable Me” they don’t go to see Gru, his adoptive daughters or the plot, they go to see the minions like if the movie was about them. Another thing that I hate about them, is that people is so obsessed with them that make them so annoying because in school, I see minions, on facebook I see minions, in the news I see minions, and everywhere I see minions.

2.- The word “Veggies”.- This word make look vegetables like if they were dumb. Vegetables are not dumb, actually, some are not even considered as living things.

3.-When I found out that The Minions were having its own movie.-Seriously, Universal Studios?

4.-When they make two movies about a single book.- The movie staff had enough time and space to put the whole book in one movie, I would understand if they were going to put The Bible on a movie, or a very thick comic book, but there is no need to divide Harry Potter’s 7th book in two parts, or the last book of The Hunger Games in two, or The hobbit in three. This leave the movie uncomplete, but the worst of all, they don’t do it for love to art, they do it for greed.

5.-_-_*-WHeN PeOpLE WrItE LiK3 TH1s 0n F4C3bo0K*_-_-.-They need special education classes.

6.-When I hear “Narco-corridos” on the radio.- “Narco-Corridos” are Spanish ballads that talk about drug dealers and shootings. Being out there many beautiful spanish songs, they had to choose these to broadcast.

7.-When people wear Minion costumes on Halloween.- Among all the characters that they could choose, they had to choose the minions.

8.-When UTPA changed their mascot from “Broncs” to “Vaqueros”.- From an epic mascot, UTPA choose a mascot which is not as epic. I would accept it if instead of “Vaqueros” they were “Cowboys” because the “Vaqueros” make the university so local and people from outside will not go to UTPA.

9.- When people correct me when I say “UTPA” by saying “UTRGV”.- UTPA was cool, UTRGV is not.

10.-Racism.- The US has fought racists in 1860’s, 1940’s, 1950’s to 1970’s, passed laws that has made the minorities more equal, but still conservatives are insisting to undo these achievements.

11.- When people use God to do the wrong.- Conservatives use the name of a god that stands for love to do hateful and wrong stuff, such racism, homophobia, and attack the poor.

12.-Justin Bieber.- So many things that I would like to say, but its R-rated content will make Ms. Hudler to call my parents.

13.-The bad jokes at the back of the cafeteria’s milk.- A good joke is always appreciated, but the jokes on the cafeteria’s milk box are so bad that they don’t make me laugh, but I get mad instead for using such mediocres  and cliches jokes.

14.- Bullies.- I think the word describes it pretty good.

15.- Lady Gaga’s song “Alejandro”.- It was fun years ago,

but now when people sing it to me, it is annoying.

16.- Enrique Peña Nieto.- The current president of Mexico is

besides stupid, the most evil president in Mexico’s history. He

has made several reforms to eliminate the middle class and

tried to restrict freedom of speech in social networks. I hope

Quetzalcoatl gets back soon for the sake of Mexico.

17.- When people who type in Spanish omit accents and

the letter Ñ.- There is a difference between Año (year)

and Ano(anus).  There are very easy codes to not omit

these important characters such Alt+164= ñ.

18.-Creationism.- There is not scientific proof of creationism,

but still, conservatives still believe that earth is flat, has 6,000 years old, and the only elements in nature are air, earth, water, and fire.

19.-Bus wifi.- It blocks sites that I need to get my homework done.

20.-The purple minion.- It wasn’t enough with more than a billion yellow minions that Universal had to create the purple one, more ugly than the yellow ones.

21.-When I want to be alone, annoying people come to me.- Is there a need to explain?

22.-When a specific dude (whose name I am not going to mention) stand to my side in art class and stares at my work.- It gets me so nervous, and stressful.

23.-Moira Queen from the show “Arrow”.- She is a mother who tried to destroy her own city, kidnapped her own son, and let the villain to sabotage the boat in which her husband was. You have to see the show to understand me.

24.-When people collect a lot of trash, paint it, put it together in some weird form and then say that is “recycled art”.- It is not art, and neither recycling. Art is something original with a beautiful concept, recycling is to return material to a previous stage in a cyclic process. The concept in this “art” is not even clear, and the “artist” is just putting junk together.

25.- Modern art.- How artists went from the Renaissance to just some

random circles on the canvas?

26.- When people buy this “art”.- Seriously?

27.-Windows 8.- This new windows change to another screen when I swipe

the finger from right to left. It is annoying.

28.- My Ipod’s battery.- It doesn’t last much.

29.- My house’s clock.- It is still on summer schedule.

30.- When people don’t know in which time zone they live in.- When

someone who thinks that London has the same time as Mcallen, and I say

“we live in the GMT-6”, and they don’t know what I am talking about.

31.-The Valley’s weather.- super hot in summer, rain evaporates fast, and vapor gets annoying. On winter is all cloudy and ugly.

32.-Art class.- Only kids who draw anime all day, and hipsters can have a 100 in projects on that class. I am not a hipster, and I don’t draw anime, so I get B’s in every project.

33.- When Argentinians get racist.- I know Argentinians who are very agreeable and nice, unfortunately, there are Argentinians who think that they are “the superior race” of the Americas, and insult Mexicans, Chileans, Brazilians, Colombians, Americans, and everyone who is not white. For this reason, many latin americans don’t like Argentinians.

34.-When people think that “5 de Mayo” is Mexican Independence.- It is the date of an epic battle against the French in Mexico, the independence is on September 16th.

35.- When people say “Dia de los Muertos”.- Although the correct translation in English of this day is “Day of the death”, the original name in Spanish is “Dia de muertos”. “Dia de los Muertos” sounds awkward in Spanish, and that’s why Mexican say “Dia de Muertos”.

36.-When people make historical mistakes.- They have been through elementary, middle, high school, and college, and still don’t know the names of some of The Founding Fathers?!

37.-SAT.- This test is designed to fail students. Also it is created by the biggest Monopoly in Education Industry: The College Board.

38.-The College Board.- They make  money from the SATs, APs,  CLEPs, study guides, etc. Isn't this a monopoly?

39.-When people say “Eating bunnies is gross”.- You have no idea of what is gross, and

yes, rabbits are eatable.

40.- When people actually think that tacos are those things that sell in Taco Bell.-

Real tacos are those that are sold in street, which you can bend the tortilla

however you want. Taco Bell is a combination of taco with some sort of plastic that

they call “tortilla”.

41.-When my dog bites my pants and pulls them.- Annoying.

42.- Freshmen that cut the line in the cafeteria.- The line was created to maintain an order, besides, what is their hurry? Are they too excited to eat the same thing all the week?

43.-School Enchiladas.- Enchiladas are supposed to be spicy.

44.-When children think that Santa is real.- The children are fooled, the parents stressed to get the toys the kids want, and the only one winning is “Toys R Us”.

45.-Crying babies.- it gets me so stressed out.

46.-Cliche love stories.- Anything that looks like Romeo and Juliet. People can be more creative than that, Can’t they?

47.-Open ending stories.- The reader (or viewer) has spent a lot of its precious time to watch (or read) the story, and at the end, the author don’t have the decency to end the story? That is a waste of time!

48.-When people think that the Viola is a Violin.- There is a difference clear between a Viola and a Violin. The Viola is duller and bigger than the Violin.

49.-When people who think that they sing good, sing in the talent show.- That is why auditions are for, to show the good stuff.

50.-Magicians who think that they are good.- Do they have a trick to realize that they are bad?

51.-When the computer displays the temperature in Fahrenheit.- The computer knows that I want the temperature in Celsius, and it stills disobeys me.

52.-Old Disney’s fairy tales.- They are way too different from the real tales. They fool girls by telling them about some blue prince. Fortunately, Disney is remaking their movies and making them more realistic and feminist (I celebrate that).

53.- When people smell artificial flowers.- What are they smelling?

54.- When people put in water artificial flowers, so they don’t die.- Again, Why?

55.- Oil Spills.- My family gets angry when I spill the juice, milk or water over the table, because I ruin their food. So the Oil spills ruin the ocean.

56.-The school bell.- Is so disturbing and stressing.

57.- When the school make a drill at lunch or at 4:00 pm.- Why do you

do it? Do you want us to choke or something?

58.-When in school teach me something that I already knew.- It’s like

watching the same episode on TV.

59.- When people is scared to death of 666.- It is just a number.

60.- Superman movies.- The same story, over, and over, and over, and over

again. The only thing that change is the similitude between Superman and

Jesus. Each movie that is made, Superman is more convinced that he is

Jesus.

61.-When religion meets politics.- I believe in the separation of church and the state.

62.-When school makes Grand Rounds.- Why do they do it? Kids will be still be failing no matter what.

63.-The Activities on Grand Rounds.- I can be doing my project or something but school has decided to waste my time in answering questions which answer they are never going to read.

64.-When people think that Med High is the worst school of all STISD.- That is not true. Med High has a great library, great traditions and is a good school, besides everybody knows that that title is for BETA.

65.-Mosquitoes.- Annoying.

66.-When Freshmen whine about how hard are their classes.- They have not idea of what is hard. Besides they don’t know what is hard, until they meet Ms.Odoms.

67.-When Juniors whine about Warden’s Cornell notes.- I could do Cornell notes of four chapters on one night, once I did the cornell notes of four chapters in one bus ride.

68.-When Hipsters are Hipsters not because they adopt Hipster ideology, but for looks.- This is a the worst Hipster. They think that dressing all eccentric are going to look cool. But Hipsterism is not about looks, but about being different from everyone else.

69.-Gossip.- Whenever someone around gossips, I put deaf ears because I don’t care about other’s disgraces. Besides, What is their proof?.

70.- When men gossip.- No comments.

71.-Bureaucracy.- Paperwork to make authorities even more unreachable.

72.-When people think that Mexico is a huge desert.- Mexico is a

country with deserts, forests, jungles, and highland tundras.

73.-When people get drunk with one beer.- Beer is one of the alcoholic

beverages with the lowest alcohol percentage.

74.- “God’s not dead”.- A christian movie that could be better. It portrays

Muslims in a very negative way, Creationism, and Duck dynasty.

75.-Spotify for Windows Phone.- Only available with Premium

Membership.

76.-Root beer.- The ugliest eatable thing since the American Coca-Cola.

77.-When people say that Beowulf sucks.- Beowulf is so epic. I so love Beowulf.

78.-When people say “It’s time for you to get a watch” when I ask them about the hour.- It is mean and annoying. Makes me to want to send them to... somewhere special.

79.-When people steal someone else’s credit.- This is worst that stealing someone’s money.

80.-STAAR retakes.- Schedule delays, the classes that I least like are prolonged, and Grand Rounds.

81.-When librarians bug you about that time’s up.-It is mean and annoying.

82.- When my mother tells me that I should not go very far for college.- I love to travel. When I travel I feel like Columbus (without the genocide), or a Viking discovering the continents.

83.-New History Channel’s programming.- They left all the historical research and switched to supernatural and UFOs.

84.-When people sniff around my belongings.- Did you missed something?

85.-When people cheat on games.- Dishonorable

86.-When in a game you have to pay with real currency to buy fake currency.- This is in order to maintain your imaginary town of imaginary people.

87.-When my Ipod crashes when I play The Sims.- It didn’t happen.

88.-When my Ipod gets slower when I play minecraft.- It didn’t happen.

89.- When now most of the apps of the app store are for iOS 7.- No comments.

90.-Cockroaches.- Now, this is the definition of gross, not eating rabbits.

91.-High School is not like college.- You have to be in school all times, ask permission to go to the restroom, etc.

92.- Bad Ads.-The best products are those which sell without Ads, but it is always appreciated when a creative ad appears on TV. But there are some ads which must be undone.

93.-When the film crew of the movie “Der Untergang” (Downfall) tried to stop Hitler’s rant’s videos on youtube.- They are pretty funny and creative.

94.-When priests abuse kids.- No comments.

95.-The writer’s block.- I am writing this super epic paper and then I am in blank, and then I rant. Fortunately, this rant gives me ideas on how to continue.

96.-Pop Quizzes.-No time to study.

97.-When I can’t use my student discount on the bus fare.- I need to be frugal.

98.-When people sue everyone for everything.- They are just looking for someone to blame.

99.-That Hidalgo city does not open to the public its historical buildings.- I am sure they are pretty interesting inside, but I don’t know because they are locked.

100.-When the school give my stop bus a crappy bus.- Sometimes have wifi, sometimes not... Only God knows.

101.-When people in bus make a lot of noise.-Why they can’t bahave like civilized people?

102.-When Spotify puts 3 ads between songs.- I thought it was Spotify, not open TV.

103.-When TAMUK send me emails.- they are just to tell me what to do, and I know what I have to do.

104.- Bad alien movies.- Bad effects, an insult for the audience.

105.-Gross terror movies.-So bloody that the audience ends vomiting of gross (an example is The Human Centipede)

106.-Indie action movies.- Bad budget and many plot bunnies.

107.-When someone says that he or she knows the apocalypse date.- Humanity is mature enough to know that it’s time to stop making false alarms.

108.- When people start singing happy birthday in scool.- I feel obligated to sing, I don’t have the best voice of all.

109.- When the librarians yell in a sing-song voice “Log off, save your work please”, accenting the syllables “off”, “work”. and “please”.- kind of annoying

110.-While in sci tech kids can express more freely in Java night, In Med High we have to ban things from some number of the talent show.- Why they can’t just let it be? I mean, we all are grown up, aren’t we?

111.-When amateur rappers appear in the talent show.- I don’t know how to rap, but I know that what they are doing is not rapping, but babbling.

112.-When people assume that you have a facebook, AND you are always in there.- I am not always on Facebook, but people still assume that I am in there from six of the morning to midnight.

113.- When people tell me that Les Miserables suck.- Les Miserables was the best hollywood movie of that year, it was an excellent singing and direction.

114.- When people tell me “German is not a romantic language”.- Really?, So who are Nietzche, Grimm Brothers, and Franz Kafka? I think someone needs to stop watching soap operas.

115.-Soap Operas.- see item #46.

116.- Library Passes.- I have to take care of a piece of paper during my stay in the library, besides, it is all bureaucracy.

117.-When doctors are mean.- Where did you get your degree? Online university?

118.- Spider-man is still not in the Avenger’s movies.- I really want to see Spider-man.

119.-When a book I want is in hold on the library.- I really want that book.

120.-When people treat twilight as the best book ever.- They don’t appreciate Beowulf, but Twilight? Something is wrong.

121.- When Ms. Robledo ask me for a pass to go to morning rounds to work with her.- Bureaucracy.

122.-When people know how to curse in Spanish, but don’t know how to speak Spanish.- mean.

123.- When people judge the Japanese are morally wrong because of harakiri, and some mangas.- You don’t like their culture, but you like their awesome electronics? It’s a different culture, It doesn’t make it worse or better than our, but different.

124.- When people tell me “you are going to be poor with a(n) <insert liberal arts degree here> major”.- Well, maybe I want to be poor.

125.- When people ask to the math teacher “When are we going to use this?”.- When the teacher gives you a paper with questions and answers, and its worth approx %20 of your grade.

126.- When people tell me “Too much bacon is bad for you” when I am eating bacon.- Go back to your salads

127.- When people put citrics in daily products.- Acids and milk is a bad combination because the citrics will make the daily product bitter and ugly.

128.- When dog bark at me.- no comments.

129.- When people ask me “Why are you so quiet?”.- How am I supposed to know?

130.- When I travel in Greyhound, and the only seat available are those in the back.- People is so crowded over there.-

131.-When there is a lot of people in the movies and nobody is quiet.- Are you going to watch a movie, or have a picnic?

132.- When Texas State tell me that I need to send a proof of my fee waiver.- They have trust issues, besides, I already sent it.

133.- When people sneeze many times in a row.- They are faking. No one has enough sneezing stimulus to do that.

134.- When creationists use the word “Theory”.- They don’t even know the meaning of that word.

135.-When I am doing a presentation, and people seem to not pay attention or getting bored.- I am already mortified enough with the idea of standing in front of everyone giving this presentation, and then the audience is not paying attention? How dare ?!

136.-When I think that something is very simple, but actually is very complex.-  No comments.

137.- When people think that the man never went to the moon.- There very simple reasons why the man did, and why their arguments are debunked.

138.-Creppypastas.- They are dumb and gross.

139.-When people think that Slenderman is real.- Slenderman is not real, the so-called german woodcuts from 17th century are altered. There is no historical evidence for this.

140.- The song “Happy”.- It was fun at the beginning, until it was linked with the minions, and people started to get obsessed with it, and started to get annoying.

141.- When my cats don’t want to play with me.- They sleep all day.

142.- When school clocks are wrong or stopped.- They are misleading, and then I think it’s lunch or 4:05, but it turns out that is is not.

143.- When I don’t bring pencils to art class.-  have to draw, but then I can’t.

144.-When in CNA  class I can’t make the mitters.-It gets me so frustrated that I put all my effort to make the bed, and at the end, the mitters are not well-done.

145.-When half-day kids whine about the tasks that we have to do in CNA class.- What were they expecting to be CNA? A picnic?

146.- When I get stuck in a game.- no comments.

147.- When all the mobs in MINECRAFT suddenly appear near you and want to kill you.- I don’t even see them coming.

148.-When children curse.-When did adults started to be more innocent than children.

149.-When I forget a homework that I did in my house.- I have to make it again.

150.-When people tell me that pizza buffets suck.- What are they thinking about? Pizza buffets are the best thing ever.

160.- When I get full in a buffet, and I realize that I have just tasted a little part of the buffet.- No comments.

161.-When I am required to dress formal for a presentation.- What is the reason for this, anyway?

162.-When people use smileys that don’t make anysense.- A  happy face means happy, A sad face means sad, but what does a pork means?

163.- When in debating, the opponent uses the same argument a lot of times.- Are you not supposed to research your topic?

164.- When half day kids get on my bus.- They get on, and they start to put loud music, and to curse.

165.- When the bus wifi is broken, or I forget my iPod.- Unfortunately, I can’t use spotify, so I have to hear all the cursing in my bus.

And keeps growing...